


Ship and Let Ship

by PiscesDragon



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, F/M, M/M, Meta, No Beta, S8 is the devil, The End of Voltron was so bad even the characters need a chance to complain about it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-26 00:23:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18272057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PiscesDragon/pseuds/PiscesDragon
Summary: Six friends who share a love of the same anime show decide to binge watch the final two seasons together. They all have their own ship preferences and hopes for the plot lines.The show does not end the way they planned.Discussion and bitterness ensue.





	Ship and Let Ship

**Author's Note:**

> This crackfic was born out of a desire to complain about the ridiculousness of Season 8. I just had a picture in my head of the characters watching it and complaining about how out of character they were acting. Insanity happened!
> 
> Originally I told my daughter she could help me with this fic, but I can't seem to keep the characters from cursing and being inappropriate :) 
> 
> Also, I have no beta reader for this, but if you'd like to volunteer please let me know.

“Are you guys ready yet?” Pidge yells toward the kitchen from her spot on the couch. “I’ve been waiting for this ALL DAY!”

“Yeah, yeah - Keep your pants on,” Lance replies, walking toward the kitchen with his arms overflowing with junk food. He plops down next to her on the couch and sets his supplies out in front of him on the coffee table. Hunk came in right behind him carrying a large drink and a bowl of popcorn and quickly settled into the empty remaining chair. Shiro was already parked in the other recliner with Keith cuddled comfortably in his lap.

“Allura! Any day!” Pidge snarks as she starts queueing their favorite show to the first episode of the new season. She had made a point to avoid any spoilers or even reading through the episode descriptions ahead of time, and at this point was almost vibrating with excitement.

“I’m here!” said Allura, gracefully taking the free spot on the couch next to Lance. He looks over and grins as she sits down. She gives him a blinding smile in return, her blue eyes sparkling in the light from the television screen.

“Finally!” huffs Pidge as she presses play on the remote and leaned forward to focus on the show.

Their unique little group had formed over the last year through a shared love of Voltron, a new animated series. They were a mismatched team of co-workers, college friends, and roommates who all happened to have fallen into the same fandom. After months of online debates, social media posts, and text message discussions, they had decided to get together to binge watch the new season when it dropped. 

All of them had gotten into the show for different reasons. Allura’s dad had seen a different version of the show when he was a kid, and he had encouraged her to give it a try. Shiro had grown up adoring a Japanese anime spin-off of the original show, and he had forced Keith to watch the newly relaunched version because “he would not be a supportive boyfriend if he didn’t.” Pidge lived for anything animated, and she made a habit of compulsively devouring whatever anime was available. She quickly realized that Voltron was a unique type of show that her roommates would probably enjoy with her, and before long Hunk and Lance had gotten hooked as well.

The show opens differently than they expected from the previous seasons, with the setting of some type of school they had never seen before.

“Wow, Hero looks so young,” Hunk whispers as he takes a handful of popcorn from the bowl in front of him.

“Oh my God!” Pidge exclaims. “Look at baby Ken!”

“Aww!” Allura coos, her eyes going wide and soft as she concentrated on the screen. “He’s so adorable!”

“He’s just staring out the window all anime protagonist,” Pidge smirks.

“Shh! Guys!” Keith says and everyone immediately gets silent to refocus on the show in front of them.

“Hero noticed Ken right off the bat,” Shiro leans down to whisper to Keith.

They watch as the Ken character uses a simulator to test his flying skills.

“Emo kid,” Lance chuckles. Keith shoots him a dirty look like he wants to defend the honor of his favorite character, but presses his lips together and stays quiet. “Ha! He stole his car! Nice…” 

They stare at the screen entranced as Ken says ‘I’ll stay with Hero’ and looks away from the man in the healing pod to share a look with his mother.

Keith exclaims, “Mom knows what’s up!”

“Dude, Hero is like his DAD!” Lance says, giving Keith a disgusted look. Keith glares back at him. This argument has been ongoing between the two of them, and they were both hoping that this season would help them figure out who was ‘right’ about the Hero/Ken relationship.

“Zip it guys,” Pidge snaps. “Ship and let ship. That’s the rule!”

“For real, we’re doing Honey I Shrunk the Kids?” Hunk sighs as they see the characters on the screen get shrunk to ant-size.

Shiro watches as the show changes back to the scene with Hero in the medical pod and comments “Ken’s finally going to break down and cry in this episode, right?”

The setting changes again, back to another flashback scene.

“Man, he does not play well with others,” Lance says as the Ken character lands a fist into one of the other kids in his class. The screen flips to show the Hero character talking to Ken outside the principal’s office.

“Oh,” Hunk gushes with a smile, “Hero’s all inspirational!”

Another minute later and Pidge is muttering, “What the hell - Hero’s sick? Like the guy’s not got enough problems.”

Suddenly, the group gasps and then seem to hold their collective breath, silently enthralled with the actions on the screen between Hero and another man.

“Hero’s got a boyfriend?!” stammers Lance.

“WHAT?!? YES!!” Keith shouts, smiling widely. “Represent!”

“I don’t understand this whole ‘yelmore’ thing,” Pidge says with a frown. “Like, it’s all just a way to keep the others busy.”

“Wow - Kolin is CRAY,” Hunk murmurs to himself.

Allura pipes in a few minutes later, “Ok, Hero is definitely with the Adam guy…”

Keith claps, still smiling like he’s won the lottery. He looks at Lance and says, “I TOLD you Hero and Ken were gonna end up together!”

“We saved each other,” Allura echoes the characters’ voices from the screen, her hands clasped together and held up to her chest. Her eyes are shining, and she looks about ready to cry.

“Dude,” Hunk says, eyes wide in shock. “Did Ken just wake him up with the power of his love??”

Keith and Shiro grin and give each other a hopeful look.

Pidge pulls a face and makes a yacking sound, but otherwise keeps her commentary to herself. Even though she doesn’t really do character ships, she’s still forced to follow her own guidelines for the good of the group. The ‘Ship and Let Ship’ rule had been instituted a few months ago after a particularly heated discussion between Keith and Lance had nearly led to fisticuffs in the middle of the bowling alley where they had gathered. Lance’s argument that the Ken and Hero characters couldn’t possibly have a romantic relationship because of their age difference - and the use of the term “incestuous” - had led to an inebriated Keith almost climbing over the table to strangle him. Luckily, Hunk and Shiro were able to step in and keep them from killing each other, although Pidge’s money had been on Keith for the win. His part-time job as a martial arts instructor was not good news for Lance, and he was just lucky he hadn’t gotten murdered while surrounded by people in borrowed shoes.

That altercation was also the reason the ‘No Alcohol’ rule had been issued for their binge-watching party. Pidge knew that Lance had a hard time managing his brain-to-mouth filter on a good day, let alone when he’d had a few drinks. She loved him dearly, but he was not always the best with decisions. They all tended to get a little wound up about their fandom, so it was best to avoid any potential spark that could destroy their newfound friendships.

The group views the last few minutes of the show in relative silence. When it ends, Pidge pauses the screen before the next episode can start, knowing the group will most likely want to debrief and discuss the new additions to canon.

“I’m really sad. I think my ship has sailed,” Hunk says with a frown. He was a long time believer in Hadria, otherwise known as the Space Mom and Space Dad ship. “Unless the princess is secretly a guy…”

“Hey, it could happen,” counters Pidge. “Remember at the beginning Penny was pretending to be a guy…”

“No way, man. She’s definitely a girl. She’s hot!” Lance says as if no other explanation is needed.

“Um, Lance, you do remember that one time at that bar…” Hunk laughed.

“Hey, that girl - guy - whatever - was smokin’ and I don’t even feel bad for that. How was I supposed to know?”

“At least they told you before they took you home,” Pidge smirked.

“Exactly,” Lance says. “They were actually really nice. Not gonna say I didn’t consider it…”

Shiro and Keith started snickering to each other from their chair while throwing glances at Lance, and no one in the room was brave enough to ask why. Some things were better left alone. Pidge was pretty sure Lance is going to get invited to a threesome, and she just hoped that didn’t throw off the group dynamic and make things weird. Or that she would have to hear about it. Because - ick. She glances over and notices that Allura seems to be giving Lance a look - like she thinks he might be much more sexually adventurous than she thought, and she isn’t sure if she was into it or disgusted.

Lance either catches the look or sees the way the couple in the chair is eyeing him because he quickly changes the subject. “So has anybody considered the fact that the reason Hero was so drawn to helping this kid is because he was the only other Asian in the desert?”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” says Shiro. “There are a lot of different types of people portrayed on this show - it’s one of the things that I enjoy about it. Besides, even in this episode with all the back story, they never said Ken’s last name, right? We just assume it’s the same as in the original version because of all the Internet content. He doesn’t necessarily come across as Asian…”

“Yeah, and Hero is Japanese, but he doesn’t really look like it. He’s super tall,” Lance says.

“So is Shiro, and he’s Japanese,” Keith retorts.

“And he’s a freak of nature,” says Lance, looking at Shiro with a wide smile. “Love you, big guy!”

“Duly noted,” Shiro replies with a smirk.

“He’s not a freak, he’s amazing,” Keith gushes, cuddling closer into Shiro’s side and shooting Lance a glare. “You’re just jealous of his physique.”

“In fairness, most people would be jealous,” Hunk pipes in, waving a hand up and down in Shiro’s direction.

“Anyway,” interrupts Shiro, sporting an embarrassed blush on his cheeks, “what did you guys think about the fact that they threw Hero’s ex-boyfriend into the middle of an episode that is mostly about Ken and Hero? Don’t you think that says something?”

“It does kind of seem like the writers want you to make a connection between Ken and the ex. Like they put them in the same category, almost?” Hunk comments.

“Uh huh,” Keith says, nodding enthusiastically. Everyone notices that he can’t seem to stop smiling, which is really a little scary considering it’s so out of character for him. 

Lance thinks he is getting a little over excited and reading way too much into things, but he’s learned from past mistakes and approaches the topic cautiously. “Did you not see how much older Hero is than your boy Ken? How’s a guy going to date someone that he basically raised from a child?”

“Don’t start with me, man,” Keith’s smile quickly turns into a frown. Lance spots the way Shiro puts a hand on Keith’s arm and feels a little more secure that Shiro will be able to prevent his boyfriend from disfiguring him. “He was on a SPACE WHALE for two years! Why would they do that except to cut down the age difference? It’s only a few years now! Ken’s not a freaking child, Lance. Stop trying to make it something repulsive.”

“It’s still gross,” Lance replies, wrinkling his nose.

“Being with someone older than you is gross? Guess you’d never want to date Allura then,” Pidge’s smirk looked downright wicked in the light coming from the TV screen, and Keith was here for it. They all knew Lance and Allura were secretly pining for each other, but neither had been brave enough to make a move yet. He threw Pidge a quick grin in appreciation for having his back as he enjoyed Lance’s sputtering.

“Babe, I think Lance is saying we’re gross,” Keith pouted at Shiro, shifting slightly in his lap.

“Well, he might have a point,“ Shiro says diplomatically and then smiles wickedly, so Keith knows he’s going to enjoy whatever comes next. “We do get a little filthy sometimes…”

“TMI, my friend,” Hank says shaking his head while Allura covers her face with her hand. “TMI.”

“Oh for the love of God!” Lance cries. “I need bleach for my brain.”

“Not my fault you automatically painted yourself a picture,” Shiro replies to Lance with a wink. Keith laughs and wraps his arms around Shiro’s neck, pulling him in for a kiss. Unfortunately for the rest of the group, they seem to forget everyone else is there.

“Nope! None of that!” Pidge yells, flinging a throw pillow at Keith’s back and nailing him between the shoulder blades. It knocks the couple loose from each other, and Shiro gives her a sheepish look. “No making out on my furniture.”

“I think you’re very cute,” Allura says, giving Shiro and Keith a fond smile.

“Yeah, well you would,” Pidge says, sarcasm coloring her words. “You do ship Klatch.”

“I think we’re more of a ‘Kero’ kind of couple,” Keith states, still looking lovingly at Shiro and stroking his jawline.

“Oh, for the love of -- Are we ready to get back to the show yet?” Lance asks, clearly at the end of his patience.

Pidge hits play immediately, and they settle in for the next episode.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any suggestions for what the paladins should complain about in the next episode, feel free to leave it in the comments!


End file.
